21

The clock has begun chiming 162,240 times. There have been 7,670 sunrises. I haven’t seen enough of them, but, following my birthday tradition, this is the one from this morning.

Right as it peaks its head over Umbrian hills. Thanks Mariah, Alea and Abby for joining me!

It’s not too eventful turning 21 in Italy, where I have been able to legally drink for the past three months, but somehow I don’t see my birthday festivities being all that much crazier on the other side of the Atlantic. I don’t deny the convenience of turning 21 two days before I come home, though! Every year, I learn and grow more. Things do not become clearer with age, but I’m banking that that is because I have become a more complex individual. Here are 21 thoughts. They are changes, lessons or reflections from this past year.

1. I have become more open and accepting of others, especially those with different lifestyles or views. I used to think I was already open, but I was not.
2. I learned how to travel. Go with purpose, but keep it slow and relaxed.
3. In Cambodia, I learned that no matter how poor I am, I will still be a very rich woman.
4. Whatever your work is, do it well. Do not let it rule your life.
5. Live the Italian way – take long walks and eat longer meals. Work is secondary.
6. The longer I live, the less sure I am about what I will do in the future or where I will be.
7. I might teach English abroad for a bit.
8. Going out is pretty fun. I am almost never inclined to go, even if I think I will be. Thus the uneventful 21^st.
9. I really do like writing and literature, and I’m glad I decided to study it. I think I could probably do something with it.
10. I cannot save the world. I am not that special. I can still do something.
11. Prayer is powerful. I knew that already, but I have seen it more in action.
12. Serving food is humbling.
13. Responsibility does not make life easier. It is still really good though.
14. I have become more selfish, but I also depend more on the Lord’s grace and fire to make me into something more beautiful.
15. My sisters are all grown up, and they are awesome.
16. Hospitality is hard, but it is a good way to love.
17. I have some seriously awesome friends in my life.
18. Some of my friends are starting to get married. Holy cow.
19. An awesome guy has not yet waltzed into my life; my awkwardness does not aid this issue.
20. I am a young adult now. With the right time and money, I can do most anything I want to do. That is an awesome time of life.
21. I don’t rely on Jesus as I should. I have found myself tempering Him, especially when I am not in Charleston. My faith is solidified, but I fear I don’t live it very well for others.

Thank you for all of the birthday wishes today. The presence and love of friends and family, even when you are thousands of miles away, reminds me how very blessed I am.

Beggars Can't Be Choosers

I've made a decision today.

I don't really do well with beggars and homeless people. You can't give to all of them, so many people choose not to give to any. Plus, what are they really going to do with that money? Are they going to get food and support their family, or are they going to buy more alcohol.
On my way back from Spoleto today (yes, like the Spoleto Festival in Charleston - we have a sister city!), a greasy-haired gypsy woman came through the train with a picture of her (/a) family and was asking for change.

First time: I saw her out of the corner of my eye and did not turn my head, playing an extra intense game of candy crush. She stood there in a whiny complaining voice for an unnecessarily long amount of time.
Just go away! You are so annoyingly persistent. I don't know if I should give you anything or not. You're not supposed to even be on this train. Jesus says I should love you. What does that even mean? Am I rejecting Jesus right now?

She finally walked away. I've always told myself that I would give homeless people food if they needed it. Oh crap. I realized the lobbyist at Hotel Charleston I had dropped by to meet had given me an extra slice of pizza. I still had it. I had food I could've given that lady, and I was so uncomfortable with her hovering, unwanted presence that I didn't even think about it. Lord, please bring her back by again.

Second time: Five minutes later, a simple prayer is answered. I gave her the pizza, she took it, and then proceeded to pester for money. I shook my head. She rambles about feeding her children. I point to the pizza and the girl in the photo. Another long, hovering presence. She finally leaves.

I still can't get her out of my thoughts. Is it right not to give her any money? I don't know. I felt an innate sense to say no. I realize I also happen to have a pack of crackers on me. I should give those, too.

Third time: She swoops in again. The woman has unashamed persistence, I give her that. I offer her my crackers. She shoos them away; she doesn't want them, only money. That kind of ticked me off. The phrase "Beggars can't be choosers" immediately came to mind. Sure, it is only a pack of crackers, but I'm trying to give them to you, and you won't accept them. So how badly do you really need money after all?

The whole scenario reminded me so much of Peter.
"Peter, do you love me?"
"Lord, you know I love you."
"Feed my sheep."

Three times that happened. And later, Peter denies Christ three times also.

It was like God gave me three chances to love that woman. I denied her once, fed her and then was rejected. I'm not certain if my actions were just or if I should be more generous in general. But, like I said, I've come to a decision. Beggars are not going away. I'll be living in D.C. next semester and I'll face a lot more of them there. They are people, and I will not totally deny their dignity. I won't give them money, but I will intentionally carry granola bars with me. I will put it in their hands. Accept or reject. I'll let you be the chooser.

Friends in Budapest

“Paris and London are sweet and I'd go there, but they aren't my number one destinations. Remote islands in Greece were sick, Hungary, Poland, Belgium were all amazing, so go to the big places just to go but if you are centered around those you are doing it wrong.”

One of my friends lived in Italy for a couple of years, and we began discussing where I should go during my time abroad well before I ever hopped on the plane. After he sent me this advice, Budapes(“h”)t, the capital of Hungary, was high on my travel list. Some classmates visited over fall break and raved. Instead of feasting at Sugah Cain, I packed all of my warm clothes and thanked God for my many blessings on a night plane from Rome to Budapest.

As usual, my friend Alea and I endured my rite of entry into any new place by getting thoroughly lost and walking all over the city. As we meandered, we admired the elaborate Art Nouveau facades on both average apartments and bank buildings alike. We also had a blast enjoying the unexpected Christmas spirit here – cold weather, decorative lights, chimney cake (basically fried bread) and mulled wine are a beautiful combination.

Chimney Cake = yummmm

I will always remember my weekend in Budapest, but it won’t be because of Hero’s Square or the Opera House or the shoe memorial for the Jews of WWII.

3rd Largest Parliament in the World

I tired of sight-seeing about halfway through the semester, and I have learned that it just isn’t what makes a trip. Rather than the tourist stuff, I will remember my last trip of the semester because of the great people we met there.

Jonah

As I took my first bite of hearty goulash soup, I heard an American accent ordering at the table adjacent to us. I glanced over to see an attractive young man sitting by himself. If you know me, you know strangers, especially Americans in foreign countries, don’t stay that way for long, and Jonah was no exception. A native of Los Angeles, he works in the entertainment business – writing, acting, singing, producing. He can do it all. He was traveling with his friend, but he had the last day to himself. After lunch, Jonah invited us to continue exploring Budapest with him, and we accepted the offer.

Jonah was a solid six years older than us with a real career, but we spent the whole day together and then met back up for a late dinner. When I think about hanging out with fourteen-year olds, I realize just how big that age gap and lifestyle difference is. His humor is dry, but it’s also witty. Our company may have been unusual for Jonah, but I think he really did enjoy the day with us. I certainly did. 

Tess
We returned to the hostel to meet a happy blonde chilling in bed with a backpack significantly larger than her small frame. Tess is 18, from Sydney, Australia. After saving up her money for a year, she is now on a gap year, traveling through all of Eastern and Western Europe. I was impressed. She had been backpacking with another friend for a while, but they had parted ways, and she was on her own now. Tess was supposed to leave the next day, but after talking together and planning on breakfast the next morning, she decided to stay another night and spent the whole following day with us. She even motivated me to go on a run with her around the loop on Margaret’s Island, a pinch of land in the middle of the Danube River. She had a kind, peaceful demeanor, and it is obvious Tess is growing up a lot. She went to an all-girl’s private school for six years, and she is over that culture. I think this year of traveling is helping her find her way.

Rebecca

When we returned to the hostel the next night, we were greeted by our fourth roommate. Also from Sydney, Rebecca graduated from Uni, got a big girl PR job for a year, and then set off to backpack the world by herself. She has already been gone for seven months, and has several more months to go. What an experience. I had so many questions for her, all beating around the main question I had cycling through my head – Can I just be you in two years? We shall see what is to come.

In less than a week, both Tess and Rebecca are going to meet up with us back in Perugia before we return home! I am happy to be able to offer my hospitality and show off an authentic medieval Italian town, but I am more excited to already reunite with friends I did not know less than a week ago.

The cool thing about the people we met in Budapest is that you know you automatically have something in common. Jonah, Tess and Rebecca were a little off the tourist track, too. Whatever brought them there, they carry some sense of adventure, the curiosity to explore the less known. The stranger the place, the more different the visitor will be, and the more likely one is to meet other travelers.  That formula creates something innate and easily ignited – the potential for great friendship.