Don't be afraid to shine

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” 
                                 -Marrianne Williamson

Even though this is one of my favorite quotes, sometimes I forget about it. Or maybe, ironically enough, I'm afraid to not be fearful, so it becomes lost in a pile of worthy but unheeded advice. Either way, when its lyrical verse does occasionally float up to the surface of my pondering thoughts, it is just as powerful and challenging as the first time I read it in high school.

I disagree with Williamson's initial proposition - most people are not only hindered, but completely inhibited by insecurity. But, that does not mean that one actually is inadequate, only that he is his first (unnecessary) blockade to greatness. The Holy Spirit has endowed each of us with characteristics and strengths unique to ourselves. We were each made to be AWESOME! (Used in its original, un-hackneyed state: literally to fill - and inspire - others with awe.)

So, as I remind myself of the great gifts and strengths with which God has blessed me and which He has called me to use for unfathomable good, I'd like to allow you the opportunity to do so as well.

Shine. Be bold. Be you.

It's contagious.

A Sugah Cain Testimony

The Blessings of Faithfulness

Daniel of the Old Testament – you know, the “Lion’s Den” one – he is the man. Though he is from the tribe of Judah, a misfit group of exiles in a secular, flourishing kingdom, his hard work and devotion to the one true God testify to the power and reality of a living Lord. Through the reign of three kings and three different empires – Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon, Darius of Persia, and Cyrus of Achaemenid – Daniel is continually promoted, and it’s not because he is a people pleaser. In his profession, he seeks to do his best, but he refuses to compromise his beliefs or his identity as an Israelite.

Beginning as a young court hopeful and continuing in greater degrees throughout his life, Daniel obeys the Lord’s commands, and he is blessed for it. Before he was appointed to the court, Daniel and his companions asked permission to not defile themselves with the king’s food, consuming a diet of vegetables. How appetizing. But, ten days later, they were stronger than all the rest of the trainees. In the next few years, God gives them knowledge in literature and wisdom, so that at the end of the training, they were ten times better than all the rest. They set their faithfulness in the Lord from the beginning, so he entrusts them with more. This sets them up for bigger opportunities and challenges to testify and remain faithful to the Lord.

When Nebuchadnezzar later has confusing dreams and sees handwriting on the wall, Daniel is the only one in the kingdom who is able to interpret it. He doesn’t provide any “all glory to you, may the king live forever” response either. In sum, Daniel reports that Nebuchadnezzar's  kingdom will crumble and divide. Because of his honesty and wisdom, he is promoted, and through Daniel and his companions who survive the burning furnace, Nebuchadnezzar catches a glimpse of the true God.

Fast-forward to Darius’ reign. Daniel, who has an “excellent spirit in him” (Holy Spirit), is up to become the highest official, and jealous officers trick the king into issuing a decree that those who don’t worship him should be thrown in the lion’s den. Being the only one worshipped sounds pretty good to Darius, so he approves it. Now, put yourself in Daniel’s position. In the past the tests were smaller – vegetables versus a feast, honesty over sucking up. Now Daniel’s life is on the line. But smaller acts of faith prepare us for bigger ones. Rather than shoving God to the backburner or toning his devotion down, Daniel continues steadfastly, praying and giving thanks to God three times a day. When Darius realizes that he has inadvertently sentenced Daniel – Number Two in the kingdom, his right hand man – to death, he is, of course, deeply distressed. He plots to rescue Daniel, but the law binds him, so as he throws Daniel into the lion’s den, he entreats, “May your God, whom you serve continually, deliver you!” You know the story. That night the king fervently prays and fasts, and Daniel is not harmed because of his trust in God.

Daniel’s deep faithfulness does not directly equate to blessings. Genuine devotion and real testing bring forth an uncontrollable mess. It is only in such chaos, though, when the impossible is made possible, that one sees the Lord work most clearly. The core that withstands tribulation testifies to Truth, powerful and living. The morning after Daniel is thrown in the lion’s den, Darius anxiously calls out “O Daniel, servant of the living God, has your God, whom you serve continually, been able to deliver you from the lions?” Darius still does not claim this God for himself, but he knows this God is living and active, capable of rescuing Daniel from the terrifying maw of ravenous lions.

Daniel’s story reminds me of Jesus’ parable of the ten minas. To the one who is given much, even more will be given. God entrusts us with something and sees how we manage it. If we do well, He gives us more. With Daniel, like most true disciples in the Bible, I see that faithfulness is often not the ideal choice. When the opportunity comes to glorify the Lord, it usually ushers forth testing and hardship with it. Why eat vegetables when there is a feast? What harm is there in hiding one’s faith a bit?

But who is first? Your life or Christ in you? The easy choice is always self. The right choice is always God. When we choose Him and thank Him through everything, we glorify Him, and we are a testament to others of His goodness through trial. Though there may be hardship, the fruit of faithfulness is far better blessing than what we can ever provide for ourselves.

Lord, the one true, living God, you are faithful and steadfast. I confess that I often turn from you and seek my own desires. Thank you that your promises are true and that you have given me your Word to lead and guide me. Thank you for giving up everything to make me new. Remind me that all I have is yours anyway, and that your mercies and blessings are new every morning. Renew a right spirit within me, and shape my heart to be centered on you, led by the Holy Spirit and abounding in faithfulness and obedience.

Cross References:

Lamentations 3:25

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
    to the one who seeks him

Colossians 3:23

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,

To the one who is given much, even more will be given. It doesn’t mean that it won’t be hard.

Blessings first to the father – seek first the kingdom, and all these things will be added to you.

Luke 19: 16-17
The first one came and said, ‘Sir, your mina has earned ten more.’
“‘Well done, my good servant!’ his master replied. ‘Because you have been trustworthy in a very small matter, take charge of ten cities.’

Cruisin'

(Friday, 4 pm #WiFi Scarcity)

“Where’d you go?” my dad asks when I answer my cell phone. He had seen me on the porch all morning charging through the Epic of Gilgamesh – only the third bullet on a long list of summer reading assignments for English Seminar this coming year. The humidity had run me off, though, and I had retreated to the living room AC.

“I’m on the couch, Hof.” Man, cell phones have made us lazy.

“Well come on back outside for a second. I want to talk about something with you.”

For the purpose of this post, here are some things you should know about my father, who my family and I affectionately refer to as “Hoffa”:

In general, he is not a very thoughtful gift-giver, and he is definitely not a planner. As a businessman, he often runs with his out-of-the-box ideas. He is a natural delegator and prefers for others to do work for him. For instance, if Mama ever goes out of town, rather than cooking dinner, there is a nine in ten chance that we’ll be eating at a restaurant. He may be lazy on occasion, but he is also the king of unpredictable fun. I don’t know of any other father who has surprised his children (and wife) with a dock platform and thirty-foot rope swing! Above all, Hoffa is loving. He greets friends and strangers alike with a tight bear hug that will leave them gasping for air, and humbly goes out of his way to help treat others with kindness.

Since I had reminded Hoffa the previous day that Mama’s birthday would be tomorrow, I figure he is summoning me to help him with some last-minute outlandish birthday scheme. I am interested to see what crazy idea he has concocted, so without argument I close Gilgamesh and return outside.

“Mama has been working hard at Old South,” he says very seriously as I sit back down in the Adirondack chair next to him. “She needs to fly somewhere with cool weather for a couple days and relax.” For most people, this idea would almost be too ridiculous to believe. I just keep listening. This is such a typical Hoffa move, making up forgetfulness with extravagance. “I was thinking you could take her for her birthday. Look up some direct flights out of Charleston for tomorrow.” Now there was a curveball even I wasn’t expecting. There are perks to living at home for the summer and working for one’s father.

After a few searches, excitement building with each click, I reply, “Well, there’s Boston, Chicago, New York City...Selfishly, I’d choose Chicago.” Within minutes Hoffa has me recite the flight number and begins dialing United Airlines.

But look at those flight prices! I think. Chicago isn’t even that much cooler. And then we have to figure out a place to stay and check out the Chicago sights and walk around everywhere. It would be a lot like my weekend jaunts back in Italy – full of exploration and highly educational, but flat-out exhausting. Hoffa has good intentions, but a last-minute trip to a hectic city is not what Mama needed, especially at such a high price tag.

“Wait, Hoffa! Don’t call yet.”

I’m really not sure what made me even check. Maybe it was the daydreaming I had been doing of a potential spring break getaway this coming year. I did not know anyone who has been a passenger lately; the last time we partook in this gluttonously fun festival was a decade ago. I, like many Charlestonians, had become blind to the giant red, white, and blue eyesore of a smokestack fin sticking out over the harbor. For whatever reason, though, I find myself searching for upcoming departures.

“What about a cruise?!”

Bingo. In two days, the Carnival Fantasy would be embarking on a five-day sail to the Bahamas. The Bahamas! Now that sounded like a relaxing vacation. What’s more, it was a third of the price of a plane ticket. I share this information with Hoffa.

“Huh. Well that actually sounds pretty good,” he says. “But FIVE days?! I don’t know if I can handle everything around here that long.” Oh, brother. He needed a taste of Mama’s life.

Rather than booking the cruise online then and there, Hoffa had to ensure that we get the best price available. He contacts Cameron from Carnival Cruise line inquiring on any last minute deals with the persuasiveness that only Hoffa can muster. Cameron gives us the same price that I found online. Exasperated, Hoffa retorts that we already know about this price. We’re calling him for a deal.

“Are you working with a travel agent?”

“No, man! We’re using the Big I, the Internet! This is last minute, ship’s leaving either way. We don’t have to go, but shouldn’t the law of supply and demand work in our favor?”

“Uhhh, I think that’s already a pretty discounted price, sir. I can check with my manager and call you back.”

“Yeah, you do that. We’re countin’ on you, now, Cameron.  Call me back.”

Oh, Hoffa.

***

Georgia: “WHAT THE HECK?! If anyone needs a vacation, it’s me.”

Rosa Marie: “I could come back from Girls’ State early!”

Cain: “That’s so unfair! Why wasn’t I invited?”

Mama: “Wow. I definitely wasn’t expecting that. Y’all certainly are creative. What fun!”

These are the immediate responses to the announcement over dinner that Mama and I would shortly be cruising to the Bahamas. Cameron can’t provide a lower rate, but Hoffa decides to book it anyway.  It is unfair, and if I were in my siblings’ shoes, I would have had the same reaction. But, as it was, I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face.

I’d like to take a moment and set the record straight. I am not a huge advocate of cruises. I appreciate the boost their devoted passengers provide to the Charleston tourist industry (and thus, the Compton family income.) I understand that they are incredibly convenient and more economically feasible than alternative modes of travel. But cruising has got to be one of the most superficial forms of “travel” around. Rather than diving into a different culture and meeting locals, you immerse yourself even deeper into a bounty of American consumerism. Upon port of call, some 2,000 homogenous sunburnt Caucasians barge onto a pristine coastal town for five hours, pushing the tacky-ometer to disgustingly high levels. I think my beef is that it’s so easy. It takes all the fun out of the difficulties of adventure and travel – no navigation, no research, no work at all. Cruises are also terrible – TERRIBLE – for the environment. The fact that Carnival even has an environmental policy that is “committed to pollution prevention” I find quite comical. There are unusually high numbers of of grossly obese people exposing too much cellulite. Yet somehow, there is still an even greater amount of food waste. That kills me, especially when most of the waiters clearing our plates of leftovers are from countries plagued by extreme poverty. If all they know of America is from their service on deck, I cringe to think of what their impression of our country is.

And yet, despite my reservations, Mama and I have now been onboard 24 hours, and I am so grateful to be here. This isn’t travel, and that’s okay. Chicago would not have been rejuvenating. This is vacation, and the momentum from our busy lives is slowing down. In his spontaneity and generosity, this is the best kind of birthday present Hoffa could have given Mama. She desperately needs to catch up on sleep and to be served copious supplies of delicious food. As I write, my mother has now slept a solid three hours in the middle of the afternoon. She really is one of the most selfless people I know, but even she must make time for herself. No one deserves a few days of R&R more than her.

As for me, I don’t need a recuperation vacation. I had the flexibility to go and be Mama’s companion though, and this trip is exciting nonetheless. I’m not a very good relaxer, but it is nice to have several straight days of free time to read, write, and meet new people. Plus, with three other siblings, I never anticipated an opportunity to enjoy extended time just with my mom. I can already tell this time together will be a memory both of us treasure for the rest of our lives.

Even though Mama slept right through our plan to enjoy a cocktail by the pool this afternoon, I have a toast. Cheers to one of the most deserving mothers around. Cheers to a loving Hoffa, to good conversation, no preparation, and lots of relaxation. And, reluctance aside, cheers to cruising!

Supporting Maria

At the end of May, I met a great gal named Maria who will be moving to Thailand to be the Director of Business and Relationships, North America for an organization called NightLight, which employs women out of Bangkok's sex industry. She recently completed her Master of International Business at USC, and she is responsible for raising all of the funds she needs to live for the coming year. By July 1, she needs to raise $60,000 in pledges (!).

She drove from Columbia just to meet me in person, and she carries herself with an air of humble confidence. As I talked to her, it was clear to me that she is not only intelligent and passionate about this issue, but that she has been called to respond to God's heart for justice for the downtrodden. Even though sex trafficking is something I care about, in honesty, I have been dragging my feet to support her. I'm not sure why. Part was because of stress and distractions and part because it's just not fun to let go of the money I earn. Reflecting now, I think much of it was a small spiritual battle against furthering the Kingdom.

But, I just wrote my check, and I'm on it now! I know that it is more blessed to give than to receive, that all that I have is actually God's anyway, and that Jesus calls us to be abundantly generous. I also learned that giving doesn't hurt. Money is so intangible; once I act in obedience and let it go, I've never regretted it. So often I've witnessed the Lord almost immediately return it - not just more money, but the exact same amount I just gave - straight back to me in some unexpected form.

So... I hate fundraising, It's the main reason I've never gone on a mission trip. But sometimes people just need the "ask" to take action. I'm extending the invitation to you.

If you'd like to support Maria, you can:

Donate Online:

·  Use your personal online banking system to send one-time or monthly online support

·  Login to your bank account. Click on "Pay bills" or equivalent

·  Fill in your amount, and choose a "one-time" or "monthly" schedule

·  Address: NightLight at PO Box 74850, Los Angeles, CA 90004

·  Earmark/Memo the payments to "Ministry of Maria Gambone"

Donate by Check:

·  Make checks out to "NightLight"

·  Memo: "Ministry of Maria Gambone"

·  Mail: NightLight, PO Box 74850, Los Angeles, CA 90004

For those of you who do give, I'd like to pass on a thank you from Maria. In a small way, you are not only obeying God and helping Maria, but transforming many women's lives. 

Learn more about Maria and NightLight.

Are We All Animals?

Last night I had the great pleasure of attending a John Mark McMillan concert.

 I like John Mark; he's a musical and lyrical genius, but his style has changed a lot since the first concert I saw of his back in tenth grade. For me, the most entertaining part of the night was witnessing my friend Thomas. John Mark is one of his favorite artists, and he and his brother Jenks stood front and center, just below John Mark's towering stature. 

The one in the plaid with his mouth wide open.

He looked like a kid on Christmas day. Or a tween who just got Taylor Swift's autograph. Maybe it was a mixture of the two.

Thomas belted every word to every song. That is, when he wasn't dumbstruck. Or so in awe that he covered his face and looked up again just to make sure it was all real.

I could not stop laughing. But this is all just a funny side note to a very good night.

John Mark's tour is called "Are We All Animals?". Before singing Borderland, he posed the tour title question to us. If the end of the world was happening, do you think you would band together and support one another, or would you lie, cheat, kill - do whatever it takes - to ensure that you make it out alright? John Mark sees, and lives in, both camps. I think most of us do. We are innately selfish creatures. We can act like animals - unthinking, instinctive, just trying to survive. But we also have a great capacity for sacrifice, for community, for love. 

When it comes down to it, the question is: 

Are you going to survive, or are you going to love?

 This is a very real, very daily choice, and it's hard. So often I find myself in the selfish, survivalist camp. Cain regularly asks "If I wanna" give him a back massage, posing it as an ideal option, rather than a request. It's never a convenient time (No I don't want to! Nothing has changed in the last 24 hours since you last asked me!). It's hard to love other people, especially to love those you're not sure love you back. There is a great risk to it, too. As C.S. Lewis says, 

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

Vulnerability increases the risk to be hurt. I don't like to have my heart wrung. I've never really had it broken; I've given it to those I trust, and I've been hurt a little bit. But I have been playing it safe. Sure, even if I don't give Cain a massage, I'm pretty good at loving my family and close friends. Most people are good at that. But who are all the people I am not loving? How do I turn my gaze away from myself, moving it upward and outward? How could I love more?

A verse in Borderland goes:

Are we all animals?
Are we all animals sharpening
Our teeth and claws?
Stocking up on cannonballs
Living like nobody knows
They can’t hold on to love
And live by the law, the law of the jungle

John Mark concluded that we're not going to survive, so we might as well love. Jesus gave us the choice to follow Him and to love as he does. Fortunately, with his resurrection, he also gave us grace when we fail. So we keep trying to love. When we do, we become so much more than animals.